DEvilS aRe ARounds>????<:";'./[p;[;/

JUst cannot hold my temper.........................
PLease dont RISEUP yr voice to me.........Without reason
as IT would invite the deVIL into MY HEART>............
my BRAin.........my FACE.......... mY ATTitudE....
And so ON............
PLease MInd YR maNNER..
If u WAnt me TO Care yr own FEELing...............
I am JUSt a simple PErson, HUman being
that FIllED with eMOTIONs
NOt A smiley robot
neither a Cute doll nor yr mAid

i care about u even thought u does hurt and press me.......
it just because we are human...
and every human is related


SUBHANALLAH............
ALHAMDULILLAH..
Thanks to ALLAH as i still can hold my temper...
though i wrote this=)

EXAmination MoOD....

Seems like this time, i am alone to take the exams.
for the first time i am staying with the people with different program and course. actually it is quite nice as it train me to be independent. What the most i like is i can do whatever and whenever i like and want.

Seems like he is coming back this june. the day before my exam is started and the other one the day before my 21st. haha, it's just coincident. Hopefully i can do well in this exam thought it seems difficult for me to score.

lots of incident happen this few weeks. just coming back from hometown make me feel guilty towards my beloved parents. WHy?? they do lots of things for me. And me, still make troubles for them. In education of course lots of money should be invested first. i could not wait to be graduated student and hence, a workers so that, at least i can lighten my parents' burden in term of financial.

i want to do lots of thing to them.... not just financial, s my mom had said before that, money is nothing and she is really in the "bad mood" when my brother said " money is the power", teasingly.

Dad, a very dedicated person that i had ever met but now he seems to be very tired and rarely smile. if not, he always smile and talks alot with us. Last week, dad seems very tired. i don't want to get home to see my parents tired............Ya Allah, give them the strength, peace mind, good health and Your blessing.......Amin....

ANotHeR StoRy...

HaLLO NIGHT..........

i'm stying at my friends house today
Actually i dont really like to stay outside, unless it is not "building".

SomEhow, I dont know... i jUst keep Thinking to go for Hiking this few dys.
wish that i can go there with my beloved one day... How nice it is...HAHHHHAHHHA

there is lots of dream that i hold inside my chest since few years ago.
The Most important is to maek my family happy and live peacefully. i wanna my dad to rest from doing hard work, just to make our fmily Ok, and hrmony.
I wanna mke my mom rest, from doing all the house work, so tht she can do what she wnn do.

I would like to see my brothers n sisters always happy and grab all the opportunity that appears in theirs life. so on me...hehehe

I wnna be romnce now....HAHAHHHHHAHAHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA....
i would like to be good wife n mother...;-)
though i m still studying but it will not be an obstcle for me to get married...=)
All in all,
just TAWAKAL to ALLAH s.w.t..
HE know everything... HE IS the GOOd planner
YA ALLAH give me the strength......

IT jusT a wOrd of The moNth.....

i'm having my test today. its kind of good for me as it does push me to read and study.....dont know what to say now...emptY..
But i wanna write


Hah
DO i too quite in class??
maybe yes and maybe not
actually Yes!!!!!!
i dont know what to talk actually as they ll just like to talk something not interest me..and in my point of view, its better to stay silent..or maybe just hear what they are talking so long and fun about ;-)
DO i am not easy going?
Yes for certain things and place
of course i wont do something that will make myself shame
or something that put my pride down
or something that are really wrong for humans to do that
ALL in all just be with me, and u will know who i am...heheh

Person always regards me as a weak!!!!
i hate this kind of perception,
if i m wea, what me u all stronger than me?
by looking down on me?
URGH.... forget that
i know who i am...
O.K,,,,, thats allllllllllllllllllll

ALHAMDULILLAH AS I'M STILL BREATH UNTIL NOW..=)

What should I said? Do? Act?...

Like an usual day, I started my morning with prayers and hopes. Lot of hopes that are ‘planted’ in my heart every morning. It is only me to ascertain that its gonna be flowers, fruit or just a tree….. and the worst, the seeds that never grew.
Today I had finish my lb for one subject of this semester. Its kind of regret as I still cannot catch up what I am looking for. I wanna ask but do not know what to ask.
I wanna do the procedure but my level of confidence is very low inside myself. Today, I allow my “seed” to become tree. I tried to say and do what I want. Thanks to my groups to allow and believe in me.=D.
Yesterday, I got the presentation. I had choose topic based plant but out of sudden I change my topic at the night before. Its kind of “make my own self shame “ as I present what I am not interested in….its so lousy, miserable, terrible and awful.
The day before, at 8pm when I prepare for the prayers, I heard someone is screaming outside my condominium. The screaming is coming from the life but I assume that its is a hysteria. One hour later, when my housemate come back, she told me what had happen. A robbery that scratch women hand and took out all the things from her. What pity girl and we feel so guilty for not lend a hand for her at that moment. I wanna cook rendang that time but since the kitchen is near the life, i ask my friend to accompany me.what a shame…..hahah

~LIFE BEGIN WITH POSITIVE MIND SET~

Lots of thing happens through out this week.
First of all, i was interviewed by the MQA's group about my college. Its was so shame for me as so many things that i spoke out without any planning. Things that make myself felt so embarrassed and just like wanna repeat that session again.

"i just got 7", "so bad", "its already pass", and so many.....

I do not know why but i just feel that i hold a big hopes and responsibility in my shoulder that day when i saw that 3 person(and they all are professors...enzyme, food,and...i forget one more but he is very nice..). instead one of them from my state.....

And for the last day in this week, i cannot hold my tears during the lab...haha...(what a weak person i am) but at least, i help the nature when i went to the toilet...(not because i use it but something wrong with the flush that make the water just flow without stop. Then, i just call somebody to repair it). Look! there is something that Allah plan for me.

Now, there are lots of stuff that i need to be done before May is coming. Hopefully 2013 will appear sooner as i wanna make something special for my parents, siblings and grandpa. So on to my "big big" family.

Ya Allah, give me the strength, give me YOUR bless and give me YOUR love and protection.
My life is for YOU and still for YOU for ever and ever...as YOU never leave me behind.
THANK YOU ALLAH...ALHAMDULILLAH...

MAHA SUCI ALLAH with the blessing that HE gave to me

Hallo, it has been a long time since i wrote here. today is my third lecture day and it was so fun. although for the last hour lecturei could not give a full concentration, i manage to understand few things. alhamdulillah..

IdOL???
haha, this always be my first enemy...
Taylors was the big challenge for me in the sense of heart n feeling
Friends teach me lots about my own self
Teacher give me lots of view regarding knowledge

BUT...

ISLAM give me everything
everything that i need to comfort myself
Quran is my good advisor and medicine for my heart
Muhammad S.A.W is the greatest man in the world
Thanks ALLAH for the path that YOU show me

ALHAMDULILLAH YA ALLAH