ASTARGHFIRULLAH.....

it's quite hard to be an observant. especially in term of everyday life.
I knew that i'm still need to improve myself but i just cannot understand why people do some stuff.

its not about i would like to talk bad about people but i just cannot stand with it

i attend my class just now and sit beside this one guy. His/ Her? Ok let be secret but the main thing i would like to point out here is hygiene. Is not only her/him but together with friends. Their nail was too long and i did not know since when she/he did cut it. it make me feel like to vomit.....urg...... Its still be ok if the nails is clean but i can see that it is the dark particle inside the nails... so....
Sorry but i do told her/his with cynical tone. umh... hopefully she/he understand it. BUSY? but u can eat right?
uch

Subhanallah, thank you for the guideline that You give to all of ummah YA ALLAH.in everyday basic life, throughout our life YA ALLAH, for the sake of the world and hereafter. Alhamdulillah YA ALLAH

Thank You ALLAH

Alhamdulillah, i'm just finishing an assignment but three are still waiting. Thank You Allah since still give me chance to discover all Your secret, give me times to study and so on.

yesterday, i went to the multiculture festival at Roma Park street at Brisbane. so proud to have this culture in my country...ALHAMDULILLAH YA ALLAH

FEeling????
AUch..

STRUGGLInG for the best in This Final ExAm DIDI
YA ALLAH GIVE ME STRENGTH..
AMIN.......


SUBHANALLAH

AstargfIruLLAh

ASTARGFIRULLAH

YA ALLAH, i feel weak today but Your Subh prayer does help me a lot
A lot till i cannot said neither in my writing nor verbally.
i can feel how strong my feeling is after performing prayer towards You.
Ya ALLAH, do give strength to prevent all this kind of heart that are weak, dirty and full of ego.

YA ALLAH, YA RABB, do protect me, do calm me, do bless me..
and all my family n friends
so on muslim and muslimah in the world and hereafter
YA ALLAH, give me someone that make me closer to You
give me someone that can make me closer towards You
and give me someone that make me closer towards You

YA ALLAH, thanks for all the nikmat that You give me here and elsewhere, before, now and later.
YA ALLAH bless my day with all Your planning
Do protect n bless my life

ALHAMDULILLAH
SUBHANALLAH
LAILAHAILLAALLAH
AMIN...

From Newcastle

Assalamualaikum. im just coming back from newcastle this wednesday. Lots of experience i gained there. i saw koala n touch them. saw kangaroo.. and so on. haa,,, whats so amaze, not really amaze actually , i chat with vice chancellor of that university of that uni when i attending a dinner as a guest. ok, im busy, just a broken sentences from me today. Carry on yr work!!!!

have a nice day...assalamualaikum
Alhamdulillah

SuBhaNallaH with all Your creature

Ya Allah, You give the beauty for all my siblings and parents
i do not know why that i feel that

my father is the handsome and cute father in the world
my mother is the most beauty lady and mother in the world
my elder brother as the most handsome guy in the world
my second brother as the most good looking guy in the world
my little brother as the cute little guy in the world
my sister as the gorgeous lady in the world
my sister as the soft lady in the world
my sister as the cutest lady in the world
my sister as the sweeties girl in the world
my sister as the adorable baby in the world

till i have no feeling to say that there is any other men or women that are more beauty and handsome than them. it is good i think since i dont have to daydream about the guy..Let ALLAH decide my future
my life until today is just for YOU and my family, Ya Allah.
Ya Allah, do make us handsome and beauty last until hereafter
Do make our practice in ISLAM handsome and beauty forever O ALLAH
Do protect and bless our life Ya Allah
Ya Allah, make me to be a better muslimah...

Subhanallah with all your beauty creature Ya Allah
Alhamdulillah with all the task that You give me
Alhamdulillah Ya Allah

AZAM that Inspired ME

Alhamdulillah, i was choosen by ALLAH once again to be located in the library tonight to do some work. ALhamdulillah since ALLAH still give His time to me so that i can able to finished partially my essay, genetic.

I'm alone at this level in library. an experience that valuable for me since i'm here at UQ. How i feel so relax to do jobs just like the library, this room , is mine... hehe


10 minutes before library is closing. iwanna out. bye

ALHAMDULILLAH YA ALLAH......

QueenSlanD

Assalamualaikum,

almost 2 month i did not write here.
and almost 2 month i have been here, Queensland.
the state that i aimed in this last few years at taylors.
nothing much to say but today is the 5th day of eid mubarak and my friends just got married two days ago...i'm happy for her since she is the one that i met, shared and having a talk when i was 13 years old... at hostel, altogether with other friends.


Today, i am just finishing my plant presentation..it was cool as everybody have their own way and it is sometimes funny.....=)). i though local people are more confidence and talented in giving a speech or presentation but somehow, it teach me do not underestimate the person who are coming from o]non english based background and my own self... BE CONFIDENT DEAR....(i spoke to my self ok)... somehow today, i gain my confidence and it does boost my self esteem...... do not look down on your own self.....

many funny thing happens during the presentation today. there are 13 group presented their analysis. My group was very superb and cool since we are the first group that presented (volunteer). i am quite nervous that time but everything be fine later.]

Let me jot down what is happening today that i found it just like make myself laughing at that time and after thinking about that.

> when i am listening to the lecturer and tried to focus what she is saying before the group presentation, i accidentally knock down on something. i am in shock. what's that? i think nobody beside me...then, i looked at his face. ops, sorry, i did not notice u....(there is a boy in my group who are wearing the shirt just like the painted wall in the lecture hall)...haha i am really did not notice you dude.!! apology...

> they all very focusing in reading the speech notes without looking at the slide they are presented. and somehow, presenting their part with different slide..=(

> my classmate are really cool and exciting. making the presentation more relax and enjoyable. for example, they like to tease (but not so over the broad)..and somehow presenting without shoes...hehe

> some guy are really interested to present statistical analysis until the phrase "thanks" becoming "rejected"...
"on behalf of my group members, i would like to reject...instead of thanks". this word really make my stomach burst...heheh

overall, i'm enjoying it today. you all are so cool and thanks for the advices and supported guys...


i'm shopping 12 bar of cadbury for my family...hehe. "what a crazy amount you guys bought" said the cashier..hehe (souvenir,,,,,,)


Alhamdulillah Ya Allah since give me the strength to face today's challenge and show me the way to boost my self esteem and Alhamdulillah for all the happiness and sadness that You give me. Alhamdulillah (Thanks ALLAH) since You give me many chance to feel all sorts of feeling and protect me from the other path that bring me far from You. Ya Allah, do protect me, do love me, and do care about me. I have no one except You to help,hear and solve all my problem in the world and hereafer...Alhamdulillah, subhanallah..allahu akbar

BTN was very GREaT...

ASSALAMUALAIKUM
Hallo bloggers. just coming back from my very3 lucky 5days camp at Meru.
Last sunday night i started my journey to BTN and arrived at putra on the next Monday morning (the day i suppose to registered myself as BTN trainer. before that, since our appoinment at 1.30pm with the driver that will send us to Meru camp, we decided to go to the Enrich to get extra luggage weight. after thAt, try looking at the crocks but unfortunatelly no size..huwa>>>>>>>>

arrived at Nad's house, trouble with the window,,,,window?? one of the key can't function hence i have to use the space between the window to open the door from inside..lot of time is being wasted...NO, not wasted but the time is use to stimulate my brain to think,,, and finally the door is manage to be opened.

after taking a bath and dress up,we grab a taxi to the taylors, where the driver will pick us to the camp. before that, the time for pick up is postpone to be at 2.00pm. so, we use this 30 minutes to meet my very dedicated sponsor's middle woman. i own her lots of things. she is very responsible, caliber and i really respect her. the way she do her works is superb.

DAY1
registered myself at camp with friend.

i can said, i was waiting for this moment to come...i cannot wait to get into BTN program. once i arrived there, i cannot stop smiling as it reminds me to my PLKN times. i am really in doubt why people did not like this type of programme. for me, this kind of camp or programme was very very good and great as it can build up our self esteem and we can know who we are and what the others are. lots of kata2 mencuit hati and nasihat are given by the people around there since i step down from the van that day with friend since we did not know where i am suppose to go and wwhat to do

"cepatlah masuk...."
" ape korang buat kalau jumpa orang?"
" budak tadika mane pulak datang kem kita ni"
" ler, apesal ko berhenti? ish3 ko laki2 ke?"
" hoi, nk p mane tu?... amboi, tu rumah urusetialah,hah pegilah kalo nak tido kt sane. korang kat sebelah sini ler.."
" huyyo...tengok, diaorang bawak beg nk p haji.."

DAY2
DAY 3
DAY4
DAY 5
i am very sayu nk tinggalkan kem ni
lagi sayu bila aku tgk surau yang dah tak dikunjungi oleh jemaah untuk tunaikan zohor pada hari tu. lelaki of course nk p solat jumaat tapi at the same that is the day that i should left the camp...

SCKLM 2010

My last day as a Standard Chartered KL Marathon 2010 volunteer. Lots of things happened on that days. i actually registered myself s a volunteer for 4 days but managed to go there only for 3 days. the third days...I'm late!!!!
and was rejected by the management!!!!!!!!!!!huwaaa, so shame of my own self

Overall this event is quite good. By the way, lets talk about my experience as a volunteer oK?

the first day, went i went there, me with my friends lost...haha...
on the way to go there,we actually walk from STAR LRT Titiwangsa to Stadium Titiwangsa for almost one hour...actually it needs less than 15 minutes u know... On that time , in an hour, we manage to locate the istana budaya, national blood donation center, national heart institute, walking around Titiwangsa lake, knew the price for riding a horse and so on.... my friends very3 tired and started to............CRY.....=((( but its funny for me..Sorry dear, i cannot empathy on you because i am so eager to know what is round there...
when we arrived, the management on the spot pointing towards me to be as a runner. Alhamdulillah, although i'm still tired but its my duty as the watch is started to show 12pm(bout 2/3 minutes). the money i gain should be "clean"...heheh XDDDD

my toe nails very3 hurt this days... am i too excited??? haha..maybe
What the funny things happens is when one of the runner comes to my counter. then he said "wow, this counter so fast", then when i started to finds his bips number, the arrangement is mixed up and he had to wait...but not too long ler...hhaaaa,,,,not his luck ==DDD. all my jobs is not futile when i show the marathoner their size of bip to confirms as one of the runners said that "wow you are good as you confirm with us first", and i only smile and said thanks you sir, just to avoid mistake. My partner on that time, hehhe no need to critics mine some more lor.

" hello, i'm~~~~, you?" some guy comes. I refuse to shake hand, then he said. " just a simple shake to know you", " i'm ~~~".still remember my friends say that we have not make nonmmuslim shame in the public. so i have to respond to his hand, just for a simple, "hello i'm ~~~".

DAY 2
My adventure friend(one hour walking partner,,hehe) Today is her last day since she will attend her cousin weds. Lots of things happens today. Especially i meet my new friends and her cousin. then a brother and sister and some more. they all are very2 nice...i have a chat with some of student from UM too. he said that dont get cheated with the appearance and rumors. I take this a a lesson for me so that i m more confident towards my own. i do variety of jobs today so that i am not focusing to be a runners alone and hurt my own nails. its not i am selfish but prepared for the next day so that i can give my best for the next day as a runner, who needs a very fast service. lets today i'm just packing and arrange the begs, arrange the bip number and be a runner and key in data. Thanks DAY 2.Alhamdulillah

DAY 3

i went to the briefing session near padang merdeka with friends car. Pity for him s he got a summon after the briefing. MY first time seeing padang merdeka in real...woooohaaaaa. but i'm show this "excitedness" externally....haha
the briefing on 9am and roughly until 1130 am. when we went to titiwangsa stadium,"you are late, how we gonna paid you?" we are rejected as a volunteer...huwa....not my luck.. just went home and take a rest for the next day..

DAY 4( PEAK DAY )

went to padang merbok at 130 am from my college. then, we have to wait until 430am since our name is not on the list. at last some of us were issued as either a checker or marshal. then we took a bus to go to our duty station. the ride is about an hour an half....so...long. then our duty is started.NExt entry will talk about this ok?
i'm still tired now


Thanks ALLAh, i know new things and friends on this day.

Stadium Titiwangsa, Jalan Tembeling, Kuala Lumpur

WOW!!!!!!!!!!!!
so hard to go here
actually it is so easy. just take the ktm, star then either u walk or take a cab to titiwangsa stadium.

i become a volunteer for this few days. today is my second day. it is so nice actually. though we have been paid to do this which is not "volunteer" anymore...hahahhahaha$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$

but at least i can learn management
though it is the basic only.
how to deal with people and mae friends to those we ony know. They all are nice.....
ALAHAMDULILLAH thank you ALLAh for giving me this chance to know my own self amd interest. Hopes on YOU so that my journey of life here nd hereafter will be always under Your Blessing ,,AMIN...................

FReezE the HEarT oR HAnds???????hahahhahah

out of sudden i could not write during the exam
feel so nervous though......
my hand is shivering.....
lucky my left hand hold it.....huhu
and i have to wait for a few seconds
so that my hand can calm down itself....huwa2
..........even do not check my sit this time
what a clumsy i am
by the way, my name appears as the first person....
hopefully i can be as excellent as i deserved

InsyaAllah...
Alhamdulillah...

WAnna freeze ThIs HeArt..........

Should this heart be as hard as it can?
should this heart help me to hold my decision as rigid as it can?
should this heart just bear what people said?
should this heart just neglect what it have done?
should this heart be insensitive?
should this heart be as dark as it can?
oR
should this heart be as white as it can?

I miss that kittens
though i'm not so interest with them but when my friends brings it to her sister home,
i'm feel lost... is it because i'm feel guilty for not taking care of them?
donno what to explain
but i'm feel uneasy for that
making myself feel very empthy
trying to empathy on that kittens???hehe (they lost their mom)

but my ego...... HA>...........I<3 that kittens lor.....
i'm dont want to express it....
as i dont want to be label as a ind or very kind....
i hate people praise me...
hoho
okay
c u then

SUBHANALLAH, all Your creature is amazing........

DEvilS aRe ARounds>????<:";'./[p;[;/

JUst cannot hold my temper.........................
PLease dont RISEUP yr voice to me.........Without reason
as IT would invite the deVIL into MY HEART>............
my BRAin.........my FACE.......... mY ATTitudE....
And so ON............
PLease MInd YR maNNER..
If u WAnt me TO Care yr own FEELing...............
I am JUSt a simple PErson, HUman being
that FIllED with eMOTIONs
NOt A smiley robot
neither a Cute doll nor yr mAid

i care about u even thought u does hurt and press me.......
it just because we are human...
and every human is related


SUBHANALLAH............
ALHAMDULILLAH..
Thanks to ALLAH as i still can hold my temper...
though i wrote this=)

EXAmination MoOD....

Seems like this time, i am alone to take the exams.
for the first time i am staying with the people with different program and course. actually it is quite nice as it train me to be independent. What the most i like is i can do whatever and whenever i like and want.

Seems like he is coming back this june. the day before my exam is started and the other one the day before my 21st. haha, it's just coincident. Hopefully i can do well in this exam thought it seems difficult for me to score.

lots of incident happen this few weeks. just coming back from hometown make me feel guilty towards my beloved parents. WHy?? they do lots of things for me. And me, still make troubles for them. In education of course lots of money should be invested first. i could not wait to be graduated student and hence, a workers so that, at least i can lighten my parents' burden in term of financial.

i want to do lots of thing to them.... not just financial, s my mom had said before that, money is nothing and she is really in the "bad mood" when my brother said " money is the power", teasingly.

Dad, a very dedicated person that i had ever met but now he seems to be very tired and rarely smile. if not, he always smile and talks alot with us. Last week, dad seems very tired. i don't want to get home to see my parents tired............Ya Allah, give them the strength, peace mind, good health and Your blessing.......Amin....

ANotHeR StoRy...

HaLLO NIGHT..........

i'm stying at my friends house today
Actually i dont really like to stay outside, unless it is not "building".

SomEhow, I dont know... i jUst keep Thinking to go for Hiking this few dys.
wish that i can go there with my beloved one day... How nice it is...HAHHHHAHHHA

there is lots of dream that i hold inside my chest since few years ago.
The Most important is to maek my family happy and live peacefully. i wanna my dad to rest from doing hard work, just to make our fmily Ok, and hrmony.
I wanna mke my mom rest, from doing all the house work, so tht she can do what she wnn do.

I would like to see my brothers n sisters always happy and grab all the opportunity that appears in theirs life. so on me...hehehe

I wnna be romnce now....HAHAHHHHHAHAHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA....
i would like to be good wife n mother...;-)
though i m still studying but it will not be an obstcle for me to get married...=)
All in all,
just TAWAKAL to ALLAH s.w.t..
HE know everything... HE IS the GOOd planner
YA ALLAH give me the strength......

IT jusT a wOrd of The moNth.....

i'm having my test today. its kind of good for me as it does push me to read and study.....dont know what to say now...emptY..
But i wanna write


Hah
DO i too quite in class??
maybe yes and maybe not
actually Yes!!!!!!
i dont know what to talk actually as they ll just like to talk something not interest me..and in my point of view, its better to stay silent..or maybe just hear what they are talking so long and fun about ;-)
DO i am not easy going?
Yes for certain things and place
of course i wont do something that will make myself shame
or something that put my pride down
or something that are really wrong for humans to do that
ALL in all just be with me, and u will know who i am...heheh

Person always regards me as a weak!!!!
i hate this kind of perception,
if i m wea, what me u all stronger than me?
by looking down on me?
URGH.... forget that
i know who i am...
O.K,,,,, thats allllllllllllllllllll

ALHAMDULILLAH AS I'M STILL BREATH UNTIL NOW..=)

What should I said? Do? Act?...

Like an usual day, I started my morning with prayers and hopes. Lot of hopes that are ‘planted’ in my heart every morning. It is only me to ascertain that its gonna be flowers, fruit or just a tree….. and the worst, the seeds that never grew.
Today I had finish my lb for one subject of this semester. Its kind of regret as I still cannot catch up what I am looking for. I wanna ask but do not know what to ask.
I wanna do the procedure but my level of confidence is very low inside myself. Today, I allow my “seed” to become tree. I tried to say and do what I want. Thanks to my groups to allow and believe in me.=D.
Yesterday, I got the presentation. I had choose topic based plant but out of sudden I change my topic at the night before. Its kind of “make my own self shame “ as I present what I am not interested in….its so lousy, miserable, terrible and awful.
The day before, at 8pm when I prepare for the prayers, I heard someone is screaming outside my condominium. The screaming is coming from the life but I assume that its is a hysteria. One hour later, when my housemate come back, she told me what had happen. A robbery that scratch women hand and took out all the things from her. What pity girl and we feel so guilty for not lend a hand for her at that moment. I wanna cook rendang that time but since the kitchen is near the life, i ask my friend to accompany me.what a shame…..hahah

~LIFE BEGIN WITH POSITIVE MIND SET~

Lots of thing happens through out this week.
First of all, i was interviewed by the MQA's group about my college. Its was so shame for me as so many things that i spoke out without any planning. Things that make myself felt so embarrassed and just like wanna repeat that session again.

"i just got 7", "so bad", "its already pass", and so many.....

I do not know why but i just feel that i hold a big hopes and responsibility in my shoulder that day when i saw that 3 person(and they all are professors...enzyme, food,and...i forget one more but he is very nice..). instead one of them from my state.....

And for the last day in this week, i cannot hold my tears during the lab...haha...(what a weak person i am) but at least, i help the nature when i went to the toilet...(not because i use it but something wrong with the flush that make the water just flow without stop. Then, i just call somebody to repair it). Look! there is something that Allah plan for me.

Now, there are lots of stuff that i need to be done before May is coming. Hopefully 2013 will appear sooner as i wanna make something special for my parents, siblings and grandpa. So on to my "big big" family.

Ya Allah, give me the strength, give me YOUR bless and give me YOUR love and protection.
My life is for YOU and still for YOU for ever and ever...as YOU never leave me behind.
THANK YOU ALLAH...ALHAMDULILLAH...

MAHA SUCI ALLAH with the blessing that HE gave to me

Hallo, it has been a long time since i wrote here. today is my third lecture day and it was so fun. although for the last hour lecturei could not give a full concentration, i manage to understand few things. alhamdulillah..

IdOL???
haha, this always be my first enemy...
Taylors was the big challenge for me in the sense of heart n feeling
Friends teach me lots about my own self
Teacher give me lots of view regarding knowledge

BUT...

ISLAM give me everything
everything that i need to comfort myself
Quran is my good advisor and medicine for my heart
Muhammad S.A.W is the greatest man in the world
Thanks ALLAH for the path that YOU show me

ALHAMDULILLAH YA ALLAH

indirect ADVISE from DAD n Grandmom

i went to the Pasir Mas Hospital for my sister's medical check up today. actually i though my dad will bring her to Tanah Merah hospital so, i wanna follow as i wanted to do my teeth check up.

i were a little bit in doubt to follow them as my elder brother is going to his study place in the afternoon. it was a long time since i have not meet my grandmother, i decided to follow them. My little sister also joined us.

we arrived at the hospital at around 1030, it were our unpleasant day as the nurse who suppose to treat my dad nicely during the registration did not sincere doing her job. With the sour face that she had shown and the words that she bubbling a little bit make my tempered went up. although i did not shown to my dad, but i were really mad at that time as she should not treat my dad like that. haha, luckily my dad always smile (goat smile at that time!!). And for me, it is not good to make an enemy right? so, i were also smile to that nurse whenever she glance at us. it is so funny for at government staff to act like her..kua3.childish maybe..and for me maybe.

Then, we went to next building to do an x-ray. my dad told me, maybe she either had a personal or work problems. and i told my dad maybe it was a busy day for her.Dad told me back that how busy she is, she should do their responsibility as a workers.should not mix up between the personal and work matter.problems at home should not be bring to workplace.So, from here, i know the words that my dad wanna told me "Professional".

No wonder, i never saw dad scold us out of sudden.that is his secret. professional. Thanks for the indirect advise Dad.

Second, i got from my grandmom. life is meaningless if we did not perform our prayer. Although i never miss my prayer, but the words before it really touch me. She said to me, she always prayed for a long life from ALLAH, for the reason, she wanna perform the prayer and be a good muslimah. She advise me and sis to have a good education so that one day, we can gave the comfort to our dad and mom. "now,dad work hard to support his children, and one day you should take good care of your dad'," we does not have a lot of money is okay because it is enough for us to have good children....
"maybe grandmom will have no time to see you all success but you should comfort your dad by being good child''. not the age(how long our life) is measured as life is meaningless without prayer.