LIFE WITH REGRET

What should I conclude for my past 22 years breathing on this Earth? I am afraid to look at all the things that I belongs on the past especially all the pictures that I snap for this 22 years.Yup I am considered to be one of the lucky person in this world since the God make my path easier for this 22 years. I am regret since I did not use my life to the fullest. There is a lot of things I wanna do but unfortunately I did not strive for that. For example during high school, there is lot of things I wanna do especially in the sports however due to my shy attitude, low self esteem, I lost all the opportunity.



I could related my life as the yellow,orange and red-hater at that time. I hate this color especially yellow since the colors are too bright for me. for this one to two years however, I started to build my self esteem....I began to love yellow,red but not to orange yet. The black still being my enemy. I tried to object what people said that I think wrong. I defense what is mine..

Thats all....see u again didi

Prioritize myself

ALhamdulillah, i am just moving to this house at Warren street last Sunday and started to stay here on Monday. The rent was quit affordable compared to the previous apartment at the same street that are just a stone throw from this house.

Everything goes smoothly and i hope that i will have a peaceful here with my housemates. They all are nice, just like the previous housemates in my traveling life.

Office words saving due to no asses to the internet

Today at 0004, feb 25.

I am starting to write my heart in the word document since my house did not connected to the Internet yet. I am saying at a luxurious house this semester with juniors. It is a little bit elegant for me but yet it does not comfort my mind and heart so much. What is the reasons….. I just did not known it myself. Like the saying said , the feeling that cannot be describe by the words

There are a lot of tears running out from my heart yesterday.
They are laughing!!!!! At me?? or The apron?? Or My dad’s job? Or the government stuff?? Or that campaign?? Sorry to say but they are too much… I am coming from a middle family background and was destined to be always together in a house with girls from a rich and super rich family. Money is just like the oxygen in the air for them. Sometimes I feels down but I tried to comfort myself that its her fathers not her, I can find it one day, money cannot buy the happiness, money cannot buy the health, money cannot be judged at the hereafter.

I am being a roommate with different types of people but overall they are super nice. The most I respect is my friend when I was 18 years old. I’m being her roommate for a year and half when I was studying at one of the most versatile private college in Asia. She is a very nice and humble girl that comes from a rich family. She always support myself with her wise words when I am down but poor me since I did not know how to share my feeling to other people. I am just like to let it “planted” in my heart. I do not know how to express how I cared about her. How I respect her. How much I admired her. How much I missed her. How much I did not want to let her go..i always ignored her by not talking much to her…”to you my friend, I am really SORRY I***.

A day when our results is released, she called me, she got an excellent result… I’m happy for her. Then, few months after she was landed to the overseas, she called me again and talked about her problem, how she feels the unhealthy meals that she takes there, the unhealthy lifestyle without jogging, the friends that cannot be a truly friends and so on. At the very moment, I feel so bless that she still remember me though I know that she hate me whenever I do the things that can break her heart. I do read her blog and how she expressed her unsatisfied feeling with my action which is like a witch…..SORRY again I***.

When I was landed to the same country with her to further my degree, I do visit her house since she invited me to stay at hers. Then, she came to my house after that to visit my suburb…. We do pray together and I cried after that since I knew that she will be back to the Newcastle tomorrow….I’m still remember her words about life partner…she ask me about what guy I like. I answer “ the one that is neat and tidy .,,How about you?I ask her again. Then she answered “ neat and tidy too. Face or money? She asked me back. Then i answered “ not too handsome and not too bad for my eye, money can comes later when he is struggle for the best and I don’t want people that are rich because of their father. All in all education can ‘buy’ the money". Then she answered me “ I want a rich guy”. Without being asked, she explain to me that since she is always live in a rich lifestyle, she does not want that one day she will argued about money with her future husband. She does not want to be a bad wife… and so on. What she said is true actually. She knew what she wants and I prayed that she would get a good husband in the future…. Ya Allah, do let her married a man that is the best for her….Amin…=D ( an hour I blogging today)

Alhamdulillah. May Allah bless all of us..Amin

I pass the P

As Salam

Alhamdulillah, with the driving test yesterday, i pass the qualification to obtain the PDL after a month i succeed to get LDL. Todays test was quit nervous, extra nervous. The one on the circuit quit easy but i make a loud sound when i tried to pass the hill. Everything go smooth with parking.

Let me talk about the circuit test first. When i tried to reach the top of the hill, i manage to place the front tyre on the yellow line. when i tried to go down, i press the accelerator pedal n then the clutch pedal. Not like just a day before the test, i make a great sound...haha. there are two version of technique either you want to release the clutch slowly first and then balanced it with the accelerator or press the accelerator first and then balanced with the clutch. I found that the best is to press the accelerator first and then followed by releasing the cluth since it does not make a loud sound as the first technique (this is for me since i can't control the clutch properly)but somehow lots of teacher teach us the first technique. All in all, what we need is to balanced the clutch and accelerator, no matter what step that you use.

before i tried to drive the car up to hill, the staff who always teach me loudly informed to the other staff on the hill,"this one". Haha, i'm quit nervous that time sine i knew that they know that this is my first and last chance to do the test before fly over to my university that located at the outside of this country. So they put a guide to me (support). Thanks to all of you teachers. Since i managed to pass the hill with a loud sounds, the other teacher, the one that teach me how practically to use car, come to me and send me a paper (marked test paper) so that i can proceed with the parking and three point. when he came to me he said, " adek, rileks, bace bismillah banyak2).. Thanks a lot....
Then when i queue to do parking and three point, the staff that regularly teach me come and inform to me the way if i wanna get the license quickly is just brought the test result straight to the office since my flight is just less than a week time.
Parking and 3 point go smoothly.

The one that really adventured for me is when we have to go outside the circuit. Somehow the tester that sit beside me who is quit quiet at first started to ask me lots of questions. Haha maybe just to test me how to handle the situation. The most embarrassed me is when i tried to place the side mirror in right orientation. guest what? i ask him, where is the window? and you know? he just ignore me (look, how he treat me and that is why i thought he is a quite type)!!! hah, i though that this car have the automatic button to make the window down so that i can placed the side mirror at the correct orientation, that is why i ask him. Since he ignored me, i have to find it myself that time and lucky it just next to my knee..(manual :( rupanya)MALU3333333.
(hahaa, remember when one of the staff said, haha u are so da,,,( darat) when i tried to closed the air cond with my hand..instead press the button.

At first, everything go smoothly till i forgot to off the right signal that show i wanna to make the car into the track. then, i said, " ah forgot!" ( but it just a while after i manage to put the car on track). started from that, lots of mistake that i do and the biggest one is when i tried to change the gear from 2 to 3 if i'm not mistaken or from 3 to 4. the first one is the gear is not in." gear berape tu?" hha free gear upanya..." ikut suka hati je awak ni ye tukar gear reverse....) hah, i become cuak." bukanke gear 4 ni? i replied"....everything gone smoothly after that.

He started the conversation "Emergency ke awak nk guna license ni?" Hah? what should i replied to him..."umh....umh...." then he ask again, "Emergency ke awak nk guna license ni?.." Haha, i'm just pretending not to understand what he said at first since i dont know what sort of question he is asking about and what should i reply actually. then i replied, UMH (yEs). then lots of question comes out from him after that.

nak buat ape? study kat mane? awak jumpa bos? kenape? awak sambung ape kat sane? awak buat diploma kat mane? awak fikir awak akan guna kereta ke kat sana? and this one question is really like make me wanna laugh since it is the main point why i want the license before depart to university..awak nak jalan jalan ye...?haha, you can read my mind????? huwa....Okey, i'm just answering the question as much as i can and i dont want to be rude or ego to him. so i talk nicely to him since he is nice too. He give me an advise to renew my license on time so that it is not expired.." is it possible awak x lupa bawak kereta lepas ni? possible kan...? i'm just smile

Then the problems started when we are on the way back to the circuit.

Alamak lupa nk bagi signal plak!! haha
Talk to him... till i forgot to give the signal, i mean, not on the right time but the one that really touch me is, "xpelah, awak dah ade peluang, guna peluang tu sebaik mungkin...haha just thinking wanna thanks3333 a lot for that advise. thanks man!!!
he give me this precious advise when i tried to turn my car on the right corner)When i tried to re enter the main road, he brake for me on the right time i break. Auch, " i knowlah, just to make the car a bit out of the junction... to be ready to reenter the road" talked me deep in my heart but i knew that my mark already be deducted for that =(.

dpat biasiswa?mane tau ayah banyak duit...? amik bidang apa? bagus sahut saranan kerajaan... the questions that i have to answer through out the test time and i notice that my answer was really unsatisfied...haha cuak katakan.. sorry to him.


Ok that is settle. when in the circuit, the engine accidentally off...and how bad is it when I tried to start the engine with gear 2 and carry on my journey...gear berape tu.....???

HAha...alamak...sory3 gomen3....
THat's the end. he just get out from the car after that and i quickly said.. TERIMA KASIH!!

AT the approval point, he told the boss... study kat--- ni. WAh, i'm trying to keep it secret but somehow it gonna this widely known? i'm so embarrass. then the boss started to questioned me again.....short version...hahah. sponsor? who? ticket flight? holiday? school? before? owww,haha need to know since they pay for you..... sort of sentence out from his mouth. Dumb me that i answered both of them quite contradict to each other. i mean my sentence was not complete and i am too lazy to talk my oversea study since for me, it just kind of like 'show offfffffff'.....


THANKS GUYS>>>>>>>>>
I GOT THE PPPPPPPPPP>>>>>>>
P/s
My turn was 22(2),
last candidate on that day 16/2/2011, wednesday
but i got the second last one to do the road test.
Pada hari rabu yg mulia ini, calon terakhir kita bernombor 22 ialah,,,,,
with aloud voice, it quite embarrassed me...
awak study kat mane?
betul ke ----ada 7 daerah?
he also ask me alot


I wish my special gratitude to all the staff member of AMTMJ for their contribution and support for my success to obtain the license this year. And for the tester and my family as well
And the most i appreciate is YA RABB..Thanks because you have destiny it for me...
ALHAMDULILLAH